cogito ergo sum

Friday, September 10, 2010

Saai itna dijiye...(26-08-2006)

- Today was a really hard day. FYI I am undergoing my training and induction in ITC IBD and am based out of Gorakhpur, ‘UP’ presently. I don’t even know when will I be able to come ‘DOWN’ to Hyderabad, a city I had no love lost for till recently. But after spending the last one month in Uttar Pradesh, I am inclined to call it ‘good ol’Hyderabad.’

- I covered a distance of about 200 kms on a TVS bike, of course with me riding pillion. The roads of UP were anything but ‘mulayam’ and ya…a pain in the ass! What I really enjoyed most during the day was the shelter a small farmer offered us inside his tiny hut when suddenly lord Indra decided to be generous. The hut was bereft of any modicum of furniture; all it had was a small charpoy which yours truly occupied throughout his one hour stay there. And when finally we decided to hit the road and brave the rain, which had slowed down to a considerable extent, the weather was as pleasant as an Indian win over Pakistan in World Cup Cricket! I don’t think I would ever be able to describe this feeling of riding a bike at near full speed, with lush green fields lining both sides of the road and tiny droplets of water hitting your face creating an almost orgasmic pleasure for the soul! Aisa des hai mera…

- While in the hut I generally started chatting up with the farmer and joked that if it rained for long, he would even have to provide us food. The farmer, as simply as he could, said, ‘saabji, kisi Kisan ke ghar se apko aur kuch mile na mile, ap bhukhe kabhi nahi jaoge.” And as if to add enlightenment to admiration, he quoted Sant Kabir: “Saai itna dijiye jaame kutumb samay; main bhi bhukha na rahu sadhu bhi bhuka na jaye.” Maybe I am being too simplistic, but he summed up the whole purpose and meaning of life, didn’t he?

- While pillion-riding the bike back to Gorakhpur after covering ITC’s e-Choupals, a thought suddenly struck me. It may sound like reinventing the wheel as we must have all heard it somewhere. Here it goes, and I quote from Paulo Coelho’s Maktub:“Today would be a good day for doing something out of the ordinary. We could, for example, dance through the streets on our way to work. Look directly into the eyes of a stranger, and speak of love at first sight. Give the boss an idea that may seem ridiculous, an idea we've never mentioned before. We could phone someone we vowed never to speak to again (but from whom we would love to receive a message on the answering machine). Today could be considered a day outside the script that we write every morning. Today, any fault will be permitted and forgiven. Today is a day to enjoy life”

- Sounds pretty much doable right...So that’s what I decided to do when I talk with my mother at night. I decided to be the same Vivek who would come back from school, all glowing and cheerful, after having come first in his class. I tried it and the effect was visible-my mom forgot all about the design of furniture she was worried about since morning! Tell you what, Coelho rocks!

- One of the things I have noticed and observed in myself is that sometimes, when somebody is speaking to me, I am all ears but little attention to him/her. I may agree with somebody verbally, but my soul opposes me tooth and nail. Why then this dichotomy between what I say and what I do? It is this dichotomy which is at the root of the many ills facing me. Why am I afraid to be what I am? Why am I afraid to show my emotions, why am I afraid to laugh heartily and why am I afraid to cry? I think I should go back to being a kid once again. Crying is one of the first things that we learnt then and that put our hearts at ease. And the very next moment we started clapping and laughing because our mind was diverted toward some other toy which now gave us greater joy! I think being a child once again is what I want most right now.

- Talking of being a child, I hate being away from home. I want to go back home and still wake up groggy-eyed on a Sunday morning and find my mom fixing breakfast, my dad working away at the calculator, my elder brother reading two newspapers at a time and my younger brother watching TV! It seems like an ideal world to go back to, away from ITC’s training and induction, away from the decent paychecks I am getting, away from the trouble of coping up with the tantrums of certain someone. I think I shall get to be a kid once again-when I become a father! But that is some distance away man.


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