cogito ergo sum

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Tere bin jiya laage na....!

By the look of it, India and Pakistan seem to be the biggest adversaries since the mythological Pandavas and the Kauravas. We (India and Pakistan) have fought three wars with each other (and will keep the good work on); we demonize each other, hurl expletives at each other and lock horns at just about every international summit worth its name. Yet we take a bus ride all the way to Lahore, a ride which does more harm to our bones than good to Indo-Pak relations and when their cheap..err..chief executive comes calling we treat him to a 52 course sumptuous meal. In fact India and Pakistan take to each other like ducks take to water though not quite with the same degree of geniality.

The fact is that India and Pakistan are indispensable to each other. And in economic lingo (since I am a SR-ite), India and Pakistan are perfectly complementary goods whose production and consumption have to increased or decreased simultaneously and proportionately. That is why their 'Indifference curves' and 'Iso-product curves' are 'L-shaped'. Ask someone who knows all about curves, I mean ask your economics teacher.

The enmity that exists or rather seems to exist between the two nations is in fact for mutual cohabitation. Consider the following facts. If normal, I mean abnormally good relations, were to exist between our two countries then the first casualty on both sides of the border would be the media which would then starve for want of sensational stories to publish and/or broadcast. Indo-Pak cricket matches would then become 'economic-bads' for the cricket boards of both the nations. No hysterical cries hence from fans when Waqar Younis hurls a toe-crusher at Sourav Ganguly or when Sachin Tendulkar spanks Wasim Akram for a four. Who would pay to watch Sourav dada shake hands with Shoaib Akhtar? Nah, not me! I would rather have him shake something else. Henceforth there would be no more accusations of match-fixing (of the cricketing variety) when the home team loses, no vilifications, no mud-slinging, no reasons for a favorite adda, no nothing.

We would rather have Bal Thackeray keep digging up pitches and go and watch the one-man Indian army shout away the entire Pakistani army in 'gadar'. Come to think of it, our informal lives would become so tasteless that we would advocate a return to the erstwhile frosty relations (read: happening relations) between us.

Pakistan is India's single largest obsession and vice versa. It provides employment to countless Indians and Pakistanis in the unorganized as well as the organized sector. If we dont demonize each other we would be utterly jobless. So friends, shouldnt rise and say:

Pakistan Zindabad
Finally to conclude in the (slightly modified) words of John Lennon,
"You may say that I am an Ass
But I am not the only one!
Let Pakistan be!"
Vivek Saraf.
Published in "The Write-Stuff ",2000, The SRCC English Literary Society's Journal.


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